Tattling and Peer Conflicts
Peer conflicts and tattling are a common, and generally frequent, occurrence in early childhood classrooms. Young children want to engage in play with other kids, but when conflict arises you will often hear a panicked call of "TEACHER!" from where ever the conflict is happening. So how do you reduce the conflict and the tattling?
It is unlikely that you will completely eliminate conflict and tattling in the classroom, but you can significantly reduce it by teaching the children strategies to resolve conflict. In teaching the children to resolve conflict, visuals are extremely helpful. CSEFEL (website below) makes some excellent resources for teaching children to resolve conflicts. The first of which are the solution cue cards:
Solution Cue Cards
http://csefel.vanderbilt.edu/resources/strategies.html#booknookThe cards have solutions such as get a timer, trade, share, etc. Initially, you walk the children through the steps of learning to use the cards. For example, if you get called into a conflict, you bring the solution kit with you. You say, "Looks like Jeff wants a turn with the toy. Let's look at some solutions." Let the children select a solution that works best. You may have to do this the first several weeks, but the children generally are able to use it independently if you leave the visual cue cards out in the classroom.
This is one way to post the solutions so that they are always up in the classroom. At our site, we put each of the solutions on the side of a square tissue box. We cover it with clear contact paper to make it more durable and keep several in the classroom. This makes the solution kits easily accessible and portable.
Note: This strategy would work best for 4 and older (Modified strategy for younger children below)
There is also the problem solving kit on the CSEFEL website. The steps are * What is the problem * Think of solutions * What would happen if I did that? * Try them
Problem solving kit
http://csefel.vanderbilt.edu/resources/strategies/problemsolvingboy.pdf
This is a good one for a circle or class meeting time. You can have the children write down their name and put it in a box in the circle area if they have a conflict they cannot resolve. At circle time, ask the child to share the problem. As a group, you can discuss potential solutions, what would happen if scenarios, and guide the children towards a resolution.
Modified for 3-4 year olds
With younger children, I would create a scenario and introduce the strategy with puppets. For example, "Puppy friend won't share the play dough. What should he do?"
Strong Feelings: What to Do When I Feel Mad, Sad, . . .
Identifying feelings center in an early childhood classroom
The first step in knowing what to do with big feelings is knowing what they are. Young children have big emotions and it is important for them to have ways to express those emotions. (Positive or negative)
A few of the strategies that I have found most helpful are:
1.) Acknowledging a child's feelings. "You seem mad." (Sometimes I get corrected, that's okay) It allows the child the opportunity to talk about it.
2.) Pre-plan for ways to express negative emotions. We all get mad sometimes. What can you do when you are mad. Stomp bubble wrap? Pound play dough? Go to the calm spot for some alone time? It's going to be different for each child but, if you know your kids and help them plan for it, you can reduce negative behaviors.
3.) Read about feelings in books and talk about how the characters handled them. It is also GREAT for working on problem solving. (See book list below)
CSEFEL Book ListA few of the strategies that I have found most helpful are:
1.) Acknowledging a child's feelings. "You seem mad." (Sometimes I get corrected, that's okay) It allows the child the opportunity to talk about it.
2.) Pre-plan for ways to express negative emotions. We all get mad sometimes. What can you do when you are mad. Stomp bubble wrap? Pound play dough? Go to the calm spot for some alone time? It's going to be different for each child but, if you know your kids and help them plan for it, you can reduce negative behaviors.
The calm spot
3.) Read about feelings in books and talk about how the characters handled them. It is also GREAT for working on problem solving. (See book list below)
http://csefel.vanderbilt.edu/documents/booklist.pdf
Books
1.) Class meetings: Young Children Solving Problems Together
By Emily Vance and Patricia Jimenez Weaver
2.) Making Friends: A Social Skills Program for Inclusive Settings
By: Ruth Herron Ross and Beth Roberts-Paccione
3.) The Peaceful Classroom: 162 Easy Activities to Teach Preschoolers Compassion and Cooperation
By Charles A. Smith, PhD
Articles
Guidance Matters: Tattling
http://www.naeyc.org/files/yc/file/200701/btjguidance.pdf
Websites
The Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning
http://csefel.vanderbilt.edu/
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